SERIOUSLY! Alright, I’m one of the review guardians. I have a couple of comments in regards to the eight million refund requests I read a month.

It does no good to complain to “Urbis” in your refund request. “Urbis” doesn’t read them. Review guarians are your peers. If you have a complaint about Urbis, use the forums, write to the moiker Urbis or Steves_Sister. If it’s credit fraud or serious abuse, most likely a review guardian will report it, but asking “Urbis” to do something about it via refund request isn’t your best bet.

We, review guardians, cannot help if you are unsatisfied with your Urbis experiance. Are you upset that you paid money and don’t like your reviews? Oh, hang on.. Yeah, that doesn’t have anything to do with us. I’m sorry, that’s harsh. I keep reading thinly veiled threats about how JohnWriter thinks Urbis might not, afterall, be the place for him. Again, tell Urbis, not Guardians.

If you recieve a review that you find “offensive”, I urge you to read it again. If it is full of profanity and “you blow”’s and such, I would agree it is offensive. If it simply points out things in your piece you may not agree with, it is not necessarily offensive. Reviews are not granted because a reviewer says something you don’t like.

These instances are relatively few in the number of refund requests. Most refund requests (I find) are pretty valid.

I just needed to say that.

Deuce.

Yeah, people seem not to know that. Good idea to tell them. But why here? Unfortunately the 10 or so users on the forums (probably half of them are RGs) already know this.
I don’t know why so many people refuse to use this forum. And live in the ignorance bliss. Oh, there’s my answer :)))

I wouldn’t know where else to tell them. I prefer to stay anonymous.

It’s the little things.

So, NOTtelling, I have a question. Since you’re a review guardian, could you tell us (summarize if you like, but please don’t just copy the guidelines) how one goes about being concise and constructive in a 6-word memoir?

Thanks.

Honestly, it’s beyond me. I think that these 6 word memoirs are stupid. When I get a refund request for them I look at two things. Does it say something more than “I like it.”? Does it offer some opinion on the piece? If the answer to those questions are yes, I say it’s a valid review. But that’s me. I can’t speak for any of the other review guardians.

Six words?? Come on. How on earth can anyone expect a brilliant review of 6 words? It’s ridiculous. People get angry for reviewers trying to re-write their work, and with 6 words what more can you do? Such a load of explicatives.

Now, when it comes to real pieces of literature, my opinion of what constitutes a valid review are diferent. I’ve heard some complaints about a review being ok except for not being concise or not being specific enough etc. You’re dealing with the public. Not every review can rub your balls and buy you dinner. Some will be just ok. Some will blow your mind. Some will just blow. I do not refund the just ok one. Most of my refunds involve over-quoting and “I like it” brand reviews.

Even if you didn’t ask :)

Hell, I’LL buy the dinner…

I can understand that. The only reason I was asking is because I had a review refunded the other day and I was hoping that there was a chance (however slight) that you were one of the ones that said it wasn’t constructive.

I understand what a valid review is of other pieces, but wasn’t sure about the 6-word thing.

Thanks.

tnd- anytime. Again, I can’t speak for anyone else. That’s my personal, extremely biased opinion.

Particulo—Oh, my. :)

Agree with everything you have to say here NTing. What a waste that 6-word contest is. And why on earth would you expect a proper review of a 6 word piece of work. C’mon people. Review this: “Smoke dope and edit this, people.” Please be specific and concrete.

Well, because of the consective vowel sounds from “and” followed by “edit” are kind of awkward, I’d think about changing “edit” to “suck”. The alliteration really makes this statement pop. Furthermore, people is possibly too vague for me. Maybe “people” should be “folks” or “dude” or “c*cksuckers”.
Review complete. :)

Now you see I didn’t know it was Urbis users who were review guardians. That’s interesting. I did wonder who sorted all that out. How do you become one?

I suspect it has something to do with having a large number of reviews and a high review quality rating.

Aha, is it a special invite thing then you reckon? Like some kind of secret society? Do you have to hop on one leg and show your left nipple to Steve to get in?

I do believe it’s after an invitation from Steve that one ascends to RG status. The one-legged hopping and a left nipple flash are strictly optional, but hey, it couldn’t hurt . . .

Right. I’d better set up my web cam…

Haha! Good luck!

It is a secret society, yes. I wear a robe and hood when I do refunds.

Curt: ascends? LMAO.

Bravis: Yeah, Steve and Lorrie couldn’t handle the volume o requests, if I remember rightly and so they delegated to some folk. I think more have been added since the initial group, but I could be wrong. I don’t think the RG’s even know all the other RG’s. At least, I don’t.

It’s yer peers. Take comfort or horror in that knowledge.

Um… horror please.

Now then… LMAO…

Large Man Angers Orang-utan?

I’m having a bit of trouble with my internet abbreviations at the moment.

Laughing My Ass Off

The other you asked about ‘ROLFMAO’ is Rolling on Floor Laughing My Ass Off’

And OT means Off-topic…which I am…again…as usual ;P

Thank God. That was keeping me up nights.

http://www.noslang.com/ has a net speak translator. I can’t tell if you’re actually on a wind up or not bravis ;D but either way I find the translator quite funny for some reason—I keep putting stuff in and imagining the result being read aloud by Stephen Fry, and for some reason it keeps making me giggle.

I’m sort of on a wind up – I don’t actually know a lot of these abbreviations, but I also don’t really care about that fact.

Still, will check out the translator. I want to see if it works the other way – you put in normal English and it spits out gibberish. That’d be good. I’d shove some Wordsworth in there and see what it turns into.